Loading ...

Four emotional intelligence videos to help improve your coaching (includes transcripts) | Welcome and General | ConnectedCoaches

ConnectedCoaches uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site you are agreeing to the use of the cookies. For more details about cookies how we manage them and how you can delete them see the 'Use of cookies' part of our privacy policy. Click the cross to close this cookie notice. X

ad
Home » Groups » Welcome and General » blogs » Rob Maaye » Four emotional intelligence videos to help improve your coaching (includes transcripts)
Welcome and General

Leave group:

Are you sure you want to leave this space?

Join this group:

Join this space?

Add a new tab

Add a hyperlink to the space navigation. You can link to internal or external web pages. Enter the Tab name and Tab URL. Upload or choose an icon. Then click Save.

The name that will appear in the space navigation.
The url can point to an internal or external web page.
Login to follow, share, and participate in this group.
Not a member?Join now

Four emotional intelligence videos to help improve your coaching (includes transcripts)

 /5
Avg: 0 / 5 (0votes)

In these videos, ConnectedCoaches Content Champion and founder of Sport and Beyond Catherine Baker talks about how coaches can recognise and approach coaching participants in a variety of coaching scenarios.

The aim of the video series is to help you to understand how important the behavioural and emotional side of coaching/physical activity delivery is, the huge impact it can have on your effectiveness as a deliverer, and the experience that your participants have.

Transcripts are provided for each video.

Emotional intelligence: How to recognise and coach:

  1. a nervous participant at your coaching session
  2. an overconfident ‘know-it-all’ participant
  3. a participant losing interest
  4. participants for ‘the big game’

1. Emotional intelligence: How to recognise and coach a nervous participant at your coaching session

Welcome to this short video. Our aim with this is to help you to understand how important the behavioural and emotional side of coaching is. The huge impact it can have on your effectiveness as a deliverer, and the experience that your participants have.

So what is emotional intelligence in simple terms?

The ability to understand and control your emotions and the emotions of those around you, and manage your relationships accordingly.

So why is emotional intelligence so important?

Because emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.

What goes on ‘under the surface’ has a huge impact on what you see.

So what emotions are we talking about, and how can we go about getting better in this area?

Scenario

Let’s have a look at this scenario….. A 51 year old man, Ajamu, turns up at the beginning of your cardio tennis session. He won’t look you in the eye, and is very hesitant in approaching you. You’re a bit annoyed as you want to get on with the session. Finally he seems to make up his mind and comes up to you and says……actually, I’ve changed my mind, I’m not going to stay for the session. You ask him why, and he gets a bit defensive, and tells you that he hasn’t played for ages, is unfit, and is worried about what everyone else will think.

Relevant emotions

Let’s unpick this a bit and see what might be going on under the surface

Starting with Ajamu, what emotions and feelings is he experiencing?

The signs and indicators are that he’s nervous, and lacking in confidence. He might have low self-esteem. He may not be very good at expressing his emotions. He may have low levels of optimism.

What about you?

Your ability to manage stress will be relevant here, as you will be conscious of the need to get on with the session, and thinking about the other participants. Depending on how assertive you are, you might find it difficult to deal with the situation head on. Key to the situation will be your emotion perceptiveness – not just your ability to pick up on your emotions, and how the situation is making you feel and act, but also Ajamu’s emotions. And what about your levels of empathy towards Ajamu?

Not forgetting of course the Group. How are your emotion perception and social awareness levels here? To what extent are you able to pick up on the impact on the group as a whole, what they are feeling and how they are behaving?

Solutions

So what sort of actions, tools and techniques can you apply to this situation?

To start with, engage with Ajamu and ask him if he would mind waiting for a couple of minutes.

Then get the group started on a task – one they can do themselves with confidence.

Then have a brief chat with Ajamu, explaining you’d like to take a couple of minutes of his time if that’s ok (setting expectations).

Start with the positive – it’s great that you’ve come down to today’s session.

Then ask an open question to try and ascertain more and listen. You might ask for example how did you find out about today’s session? What made you come down?

Affirm his feelings – it won’t help to tell him that he shouldn’t be feeling what he’s feeling.

Finally help problem solve – you could suggest that he stays and watches, or that you find another time to have more of a chat, or that he comes down again next week and sees how he feels.

Things for you to consider: beware too much empathy – you cannot get so wrapped up in Ajamu’s situation that you forget the group.

Think about how you are managing your stress levels and regulating your own emotions and expressing them.

And after the session, reflect on the situation. What did you do well? What could you have done better?

So, to recap:

  • Think about what’s going on below the surface.
  • Remember that emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.
  • When you consider the ‘emotions’ side of things, remember to think about you, others as individuals, and the group as a whole.
  • How you react to, and deal with things, will have a huge impact on the success of the session.
  • Remember in the kind of scenario described to:

- Set expectations;
- Start with a positive;
- Use open questions and listen;
- Affirm their feelings; and
- Help problem solve.

  • After each session, ask yourself, what did I do well? And what could I have done better? And ideally, write this down.

2. Emotional intelligence: How to recognise and coach an overconfident ‘know-it-all’ participant

Welcome to this short video. Our aim with this is to help you to understand how important the behavioural and emotional side of coaching is. The huge impact it can have on your effectiveness as a deliverer, and the experience that your participants have.

So what is emotional intelligence in simple terms?

The ability to understand and control your emotions and the emotions of those around you, and manage your relationships accordingly.

So why is emotional intelligence so important?

Because emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.

What goes on ‘under the surface’ has a huge impact on what you see.

So what emotions are we talking about, and how can we go about getting better in this area?

Scenario

Let’s have a look at this scenario….. you’re running a Back to Netball Session. You have run a few already, and are growing in confidence, even though you were quite nervous when you first started. A new lady, Angie, turns up to your evening session. In her early 30’s, Angie loudly tells everyone that “she used to be a county player”, is “expecting this session to be a bit boring and beneath her” and has “only come to keep her friend company.” As she carries on in this vein, the rest of the group start to look a bit deflated, and quite a few of them move away from her.

Relevant emotions

Let’s unpick this a bit and see what might be going on under the surface

Starting with you, this might make you feel a bit intimidated – how will you make sure the session is up to scratch? Might Angie know more than you? Might she show you up in public? This could well be the case if you have low levels of self-esteem. On the hand, you might feel annoyed with this lady? If so, how might your levels of assertiveness and impulse control be relevant? If you are relatively assertive (able to be frank and forthright) and have low levels of impulse control, you might blurt something out to her that wouldn’t have a positive impact on the session as a whole. What about your levels of empathy? Would you feel anything for her, or not?

Moving on to Angie, it might be that she has very high levels of emotion expression – this is the extent to which you are fluent at communicating your emotions to others. She might also have high levels of assertiveness. Conversely, Angie might have low levels of social awareness (the ability to pick up on ‘atmosphere’ in a room and social skills), and she might find it difficult to start and build relationships with others. It could even be that she actually has low self-esteem, and is ‘covering’ this up.

What about the Group as a whole? How are they reacting and picking up on Angie’s behaviour? And how good are your levels of emotion perception and social awareness to be able to be able to pick up on their responses?

Solutions

The way you deal with this will have an impact on the group and the session as a whole. So what can help?

Focusing first on what you can do if this kind of situation makes you feel less confident. How can you try and ensure you bring a more positive mindset to your sessions?

  • Copying your role models: One way to increase your confidence is to ask yourself two questions:

1. How would my ideal role model act and think in this situation. Think about a colleague, boss, mentor that you admire and think how would they would react.

2. How should I react and think if I want to be a role model?

  • Or you could try the ‘Power Pose’. Body language is infectious and even just by changing your stance, and standing with your feet slightly apart, your head up and shoulders back, you can help yourself to feel more confident.
  • Finally, you could try the Rubber Band technique – this works as follows. When a negative thought comes into your head, note it and mentally raise a red card at it; banish it to the sidelines of your mind. You can make this more impactful by wearing a rubber ring on your wrist. Every time a negative thought comes into your head, lift the rubber band and let it flick back: the little sting will slowly condition you to associate negative thoughts with bad outcomes.

What about if the situation has made you feel annoyed? How can you make sure that you don’t act in an inappropriate way? One great method for keeping calm, and resisting impulses, is to have a resource anchor. This is something which acts as a ‘reminder’ to calm down. It might be a particular piece of music, or a mantra that you repeat to yourself, that through constant association and practice serves to automatically calm you down.

What about in terms of direct action? Well you could make use of Angie’s experience. Ask her to help you? That way she feels special, you get the benefit of her expertise, and the rest of the group doesn’t need to feel intimidated.

It’s also worth thinking about reinforcing the aims and outcomes of the session - reminding the group that it’s not about ability, or who is better, but about getting back into the sport and having a go, whatever your level.

And after the session, reflect on the situation. What did you do well? What could you have done better?

So, to recap:

  • Think about what’s going on below the surface.
  • Remember that emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.
  • When you consider the ‘emotions’ side of things, remember to think about you, others as individuals, and the group as a whole.
  • How you react to, and deal with things, will have a huge impact on the success of the session.
  • Remember in the kind of scenario described, you can help get the right mindset by using tools such as:
    - The rubber band technique;
    - copying your role models;
    - The power pose; and
    - The resource anchor.

You can also take direct action such as using a participant such as Angie to help you run your session. And always reinforce the aims and outcomes of the session are.

  • After each session, ask yourself, what did I do well? And what could I have done better? And ideally, write this down.

3. Emotional intelligence: How to recognise and coach a participant losing interest

Welcome to this short video. Our aim with this is to help you to understand how important the behavioural and emotional side of coaching is. The huge impact it can have on your effectiveness as a deliverer, and the experience that your participants have.

So what is emotional intelligence in simple terms?

The ability to understand and control your emotions and the emotions of those around you, and manage your relationships accordingly.

So why is emotional intelligence so important?

Because emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.

What goes on ‘under the surface’ has a huge impact on what you see.

So what emotions are we talking about, and how can we go about getting better in this area?

Scenario

Let’s have a look at this scenario….. you run a badminton class for Over 60s at your local community hall. A lot of the group had been inactive for a long time, and you love the fact that you have got a good bunch of 16 or so regulars who are now thriving on the activity. Men and women, and included in the group are some real ‘stars’ who galvanise everyone. One of these ‘stars’, a 72 year old lady called Deidre, has seemingly started to lose interest. From turning up early each week, and bringing with her in her car 3 of the other participants, Deidre has stopped giving lifts to her friends, has turned up to some sessions late, and even missed some of the sessions. As well as Deidre missing out, this is beginning to have an impact on the group, and in particular the 3 friends who she used to give a lift to as they struggle to find alternative means to get to the hall.

There are many issues that could be relevant both for you as the deliverer, Deidre as the participant, and for the wider group. Areas such as self-esteem, emotion perception, and happiness could be key. Videos 1 and 2 in this series have more detail on these areas. For the purposes of this Video 3, we are going to focus on one key facet of emotional intelligence, empathy. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and see the situation from their perspective. What we’re talking about here is the ability of you as a deliverer to understand what is going on with Deidre to have resulted in this change of behaviour.

In fact, what is happening is this. Deidre’s husband has been getting more and more forgetful, and Deidre is worried that he is in the early stages of dementia. He won’t go and see a doctor to get a diagnosis, and Deidre is increasingly fearful of leaving him at home on his own.

Solutions

So what can you, as a deliverer do? How much empathy should you show and how can you get to the bottom of the situation? The first thing to note is that there is no ‘set’ answer to how empathetic you should be. Each situation will have different requirements. For example, a nurse who works in palliative care might want to display less empathy than a nurse on an A&E ward? Why? Because she cannot put herself in her patients’ shoes (they are dying), and because it won’t be helpful for the families if she gets too emotionally involved and is unable to remain focused and objective in her care.

In this situation, finding out what’s going on behind the scenes with Deidre will definitely be a good outcome. So you want to be exhibiting enough empathy to be concerned enough to want to do so. How might you go about this, particularly if you feel that empathy isn’t something that comes naturally to you?

Well, the best thing to do is to ask questions. When Deidre does make your sessions, ask her how she is. Depending on how she answers, you might want to probe a bit more. Also consider asking others in the group, particularly those closest to her. Do they know what’s going on and what’s been causing Deidre’s change in approach?

How involved should you get? Remember what your role and aims are for the sessions that you run and use that as a guide to inform the extent to which you might look to help Deidre.

And follow best practice in terms of reflection – ask yourself what did you do well? And what could you have done better?

So, to recap:

  • Think about what’s going on below the surface.
  • Remember that emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.
  • When you consider the ‘emotions’ side of things, remember to think about you, others as individuals, and the group as a whole.
  • How you react to, and deal with things, will have a huge impact on the success of the session.
  • In this kind of situation, asking questions is the best solution to elicit relevant information. Not just of the individual, but of others who are close. And remind yourself of your role and aims for the sessions to help guide you as to how involved you should get.
  • After each session, ask yourself, what did I do well? And what could I have done better? And ideally, write this down.

4. Emotional intelligence: How to approach coaching participants for ‘the big game’

Welcome to this short video. Our aim with this is to help you to understand how important the behavioural and emotional side of coaching is. The huge impact it can have on your effectiveness as a deliverer, and the experience that your participants have.

So what is emotional intelligence in simple terms?

The ability to understand and control your emotions and the emotions of those around you, and manage your relationships accordingly.

So why is emotional intelligence so important?

Because emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.

What goes on ‘under the surface’ has a huge impact on what you see.

So what emotions are we talking about, and how can we go about getting better in this area?

Scenario
Imagine that you are the coach of a local youth team and that you have reached the cup final. You are hoping to go one better than last season, when you lost in the final.

‘It is the night before, you are worried and are lying in bed, dealing with lots of emotions.

  • Have you given the players enough training?
  • Have you given them adequate pep talks?
  • Has the game plan been worked through properly?
  • Has the preparation been good enough?
  • Have you done enough as their coach?

This isn’t the only thing keeping you awake - you are also worried because your mum hasn’t been very well recently, she relies on you a lot, and you feel that you have been neglecting her.  At 9.30 the next morning, you arrive at the ground, and the kids starting arriving soon after.

Relevant emotions

There are many issues that could be relevant both for you as the coach, and for the team. Areas such as your levels of stress management, emotion regulation (your ability to regulate your own emotions), and levels of optimism. For the kids, how they are managing their emotions, and the extent to which they are expressing this (emotion expression), will be key. Videos 1 and 2 in this series has more information on these areas. For the purposes of this video, we are going to focus on a key facet of emotional intelligence, emotion perception.

Emotion perception is the ability to perceive emotions both in yourself, and in others around you.

So, starting with you in this scenario, when you wake up the next morning, how good are you at recognising those emotions that were, and still are, flooding your mind, as well as appreciating that you are going to be tired because those emotions have caused you to have a sleepless night?’

Looking to the players, how can you make sure you pick up on their emotions when they arrive at the ground, and start preparing for the match?

Why is this important? Because no matter how hard you and the players have trained, and how ready you all are for the final, emotions will play a key part in determining whether you can all perform to your maximum potential.

Solutions

Starting with you, how can you make sure that you have recognised the emotions you have been and are experiencing, and try and understand them?

A simple way to do so is to go through the ‘What and Why Process’. Take some time to ask yourself these questions, writing things down if it helps.

  • What am I feeling?
  • Why am I feeling this?

For example, it might be in this situation that you are feeling nervous. So ask yourself, why am I feeling nervous? Is it because I haven’t prepared the team properly? (to which the answer is hopefully no!) Is it because we lost the final last year? Is it because I know how disappointed the players will be if they lose?

Asking yourself these questions can help you pinpoint exactly what is causing your relevant emotions, which then of course means that you can start trying to deal with them.

So, following this through, you might have worked out that you are nervous, but not because you think the players will be disappointed if they lose, but because they will be disappointed if they don’t give a good account of themselves. Working this out will enable you to approach your team talk to the players in an entirely different way – you will focus on the players playing to the best of their ability, and giving it everything, rather than the need to win.

You might also have worked out that you are tired, and stressed. Tired because of the bad night’s sleep – you must therefore remind yourself that this might affect your behaviour during the day, and to try to summon up as much energy as you can for before, during and in the immediate aftermath of the game. Some of your stress might be down to your mother’s situation – you will tell yourself that you can’t do anything about that today, so you will try and put it to one side for now and deal with it later.

Take the time to do this before you reach the ground.

Another suggestion is to ask other coaches how they deal with these more pressurised situations – have they got any tips they can pass on? And what about picking up on the emotions of the players? They might all deal with the pressure of a final in an entirely different way, and all be feeling very different emotions. How can you use your ‘antennae’ to pick up on all of this?

One very simple technique is to greet each of them personally as they come into the changing room. Say hello, maybe shake their hand, and have a quick word with them to try and establish how they are. Once they are all in, let them settle themselves down and try and take a ‘feel’ of the room – what is the atmosphere like, how do they all seem to be reacting to the situation? Is it as normal, or does the vibe seem different? Which kids are quieter than normal – which might suggest they are extremely nervous – and which kids are louder than normal – which again may be a symptom of nerves? And if the kids are nervous, please do have a look at Video 2 which gives some tips on adopting a positive mindset.

So, yes the game plan and focusing on the technical elements are key, but that people side is also really important.

And, as ever, follow best practice in terms of reflection – ask yourself what did you do well? And what could you have done better?

So, to recap:

  • Think about what’s going on below the surface.
  • Remember that emotions drive thoughts, thoughts drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance – in your role, and in the outcomes you are trying to achieve for your participants.
  • When you consider the ‘emotions’ side of things, remember to think about you, others as individuals, and the group as a whole.
  • How you react to, and deal with things, will have a huge impact on the success of the session.
  • Remember in the kind of scenario described to:
    - Use the what and why process;
    - Ask other coaches for advice and help;
    - Make sure you do it in good time; and
    - Greeting players individually can help you gauge how they are feeling.

After each session, ask yourself, what did I do well? And what could I have done better? And ideally, write this down.

Did you find these videos helpful? Have they made you think differently about your coaching? We’d love to get your feedback. Please add a comment to share your views on the videos especially if they have helped you in any way.

Next Steps

If you liked these videos you might also be interested in the following series of blogs which have also been recorded as podcasts:

You can read more about Catherine and her work (including how to get in touch with her and her team) by visiting her coaching profile.

Login to follow, share, comment and participate. Not a member? Join for free now.

Comments (3)

   
Smudga

Starting with a new group of U13 Cricket Pathway Players tonight. Lots of nerves expected (group & coaches) found these short videos really useful prompts and reminders re the behaviors , scope of emotions that could resonate at this first session. Will be interesting to reflect on the outcomes post session ;).

17/01/18
 · 
 /5
Avg: 0 / 5 (0votes)
by
   
robertkmaaye

Really glad you found these useful Ian. Good luck with the session tonight…let us know how it goes!

17/01/18
 · 
 /5
Avg: 0 / 5 (0votes)
by
   
LawrieOK

Thanks for sharing Rob Maaye. EI is a subject dear to my heart.

20/03/18
 · 
 /5
Avg: 0 / 5 (0votes)
by
   
CatherineBaker

Ian, did these help?

20/03/18
 · 
 /5
Avg: 0 / 5 (0votes)
by